Thursday, August 28, 2008
Now back to reality, where I have to keep packing, selling my fridge, my bed, my everything...I'm having my moving sale on Saturday and whatever doesn't get sold, gets donated. Phew! A lot to do...
But there's always time for a little gratitude list...
Kelly & Ashley
The Foundation for a Better Life
To do lists
Esi's Fig Dish
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Quotes are finding me like crazy this week! I have heard this one before but it's hitting me in just the right spot today. The sweet spot of recognition. Not allowing myself to fully step into all my abilities has been very painful for me. It's like I've been living half a life and that is simply not enough for me anymore. I have been so entrenched in fear that it's often hard to imagine a way out because there really isn't a way out...I'm learning that I just have to stop letting my fears dictate my decisions and also my lack of decisions. Fear is never going to go away, so I just need to stop listening to it so damn much.
This Friday is my last day at my job. Sunday is my last day in my apartment. A lot of endings/new beginnings this week. I still don't think it has hit me quite yet...I haven't really stopped long enough to take it all in...I think I'm a little scared of the feelings that might sneak up on me if I do. So instead I think I'll do a little gratitude list...
"Long Ride Home" by Terri Hendrix
Long talks that should have happened long ago
Monday, August 18, 2008
I found this quote today, or I guess I should say it found me...I suppose I'm taking these words literally and figuratively.
It doesn't quite feel real yet...all this change coming my way. The hotel that I work at has two pools on the patio and it is tradition that on your last day the staff throws you in one of them. I think that will feel real. Although my plan is not to let them throw me in but instead to run and throw myself in screaming "FREEDOM" like Mel Gibson in Braveheart. That water is gonna feel good. Like some sort of cleansing away, I hope. Only 11 more days until that happens...
This song is busy soothing my soul right now...
Friday, August 15, 2008
So here I am. I'm giving it all up. The apartment I love and its contents...the job I hate at a beautiful hotel that allows me to afford the apartment that I love... and Los Angeles. My home, my job, and my city all at once. It has to be this way. I need a break from all this familiarity. I've worked at the same place for six years. SIX years. The same drive, inching along the 405 in order to get from North Hollywood to Santa Monica (nineteen miles), that takes an hour. The same customers that feel a lovely sense of entitlement. The same unhappy co-workers to comiserate with whom I adore. The same question that I ask a hundred times every shift: "What can I get you to drink?". The same, same, same. So I've made the decision to move to Nashville, TN for awhile to get back to ME. The me who isn't cynical, the me who isn't depressed, the me who still believes, the me whose heart is open. Most of all the me who is a creative spirit. That spirit needs to see new possibilities, new landscapes, new people, and it's LONG overdue for an adventure. Which is why I'm driving across the country to get my butt to Nashville. So this blog will document this trip and the changes made in it's wake. . .
My last day at my job is Friday, August 29th. That's two weeks from today!! Jesus peaches, I've got a lot to do in that short amount of time!! It's going to be a whirlwind. . .
I was really inspired by watching "Hello Dolly" recently. I've never been a fan of musicals except for "Moulin Rouge", so I was delighted with this gem of a movie. I wanted to see this movie after watching WALL-E, (best movie of the year btw) which uses some of the music from "Hello Dolly". I've never seen Babs look more stunning. . .what a beauty!! Here she is in a clip that captures what I've been feeling lately. It's a long clip but it's really only the first 3 minutes that I'm talking about. . .