"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" - Anais Nin
Quotes are finding me like crazy this week! I have heard this one before but it's hitting me in just the right spot today. The sweet spot of recognition. Not allowing myself to fully step into all my abilities has been very painful for me. It's like I've been living half a life and that is simply not enough for me anymore. I have been so entrenched in fear that it's often hard to imagine a way out because there really isn't a way out...I'm learning that I just have to stop letting my fears dictate my decisions and also my lack of decisions. Fear is never going to go away, so I just need to stop listening to it so damn much.
This Friday is my last day at my job. Sunday is my last day in my apartment. A lot of endings/new beginnings this week. I still don't think it has hit me quite yet...I haven't really stopped long enough to take it all in...I think I'm a little scared of the feelings that might sneak up on me if I do. So instead I think I'll do a little gratitude list...
Mariachi Bands
Gnocchi
Katie
Oracle Cards
Guacamole
"Long Ride Home" by Terri Hendrix
Long talks that should have happened long ago
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4 comments:
I love this quote too (and all your blogs thus far for that matter) and really admire you for taking the leap. I'm jealous that I can't go with you, but promise to "stay in touch" by reading your experiences, supporting you each step of the way and am here to talk to you through each laugh and tear.
Your quest for knowledge and the thrilling roller coaster of a ride will take you to re-explore yourself again. You can only gain huge amounts of love and excitement from this journey of self-exploration. It may be tough at times, but treat each speed bump as that...something that takes a little more energy to get over but at the end of the day..is just a little bump in the road.
I can't wait to see you on Friday and celebrate a new sense of freedom and uncertainty (positive uncertainty, of course) with you. I'm so proud of you and think you are a brilliant writer!! xox
OHHHH Kelly!!! I get a little more melancholy with every day that goes by, leading to your impending departure. I've even ditched my old "What's FaceBook??", techno-gimp ways in an effort to join the blog world and stay up-to-date with your adventures!!
Of all the people I know, you are the most remarkably self-aware, spiritual, and determined. This journey you're taking is proof of that. You're not about to settle. You refuse to live a life that isn't passionate, that doesn't inspire you, that isn't important. I love you for that, I applaud you, and I look forward to hearing about what you discover about yourself and your mission in life.
I really admire you for taking this leap, and I'm so proud to call you one of my closest friends.
See you in Nashville baby!!
I love you!!
I am so proud of you!!! You are a brave, strong, vibrant woman... When reflecting on long talks that should have happened long ago, I would say that was an amends you made to yourself... I love that!!! From this moment you will never be the same. Congratulations on you new pair of glasses...
my dear sweet kelly....I have already tried this once....but I just want you to know that I am traveling vicariously thru this journey....you are so brave....but did you know that the journey is never done???? I can not wait to see you and hug you and talk!!!!
jill
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